YOUR PET
by EScraper
Summary: A wave and smile go a long way.


Scraper laughed like a cocky lil' bastard as the next Heide Knight heaved it's last and fell to the floor in a heap. Swinging the red rust sword and scimitar like Agni and Rudra, shouted witty taunts and listening to taste the blood all fulfilled his fantasy of cosplayin' Dante from Devil May Cry was coming true.

"Heide Knight? More like dead!" he shouted, trying to sound clever.

"CURAAAZY!" Scraper screeched as another Knight fell down. Whipping out two avelyns, he imagined they were like ebony and ivory as the third knight went down. His taunts were blocked out by the sound of metal gears clucking against each other.

Scraper stood on the steel lever as it rose from the ground. Not because it held in significance to his fantasy, he did it because it's one of his strange habits he has developed over the year.

"Baby, I'm gonna grab your shaft, and take you _down._" He snickered, pulling the level towards the earth. In the distance, the pale sick coloured marble platform rose around the arena the Dragonrider was stood on, but his AI was too dull to react to his surroundings, and thus drooled hopelessly.

"One down-" Scraper began, until YOU HAVE BEEN INVADED BY YOUR PET 3 appeared on the screen. Curiously, YOUR PET 3 was written in purple, which meant one thing and one thing only.

"Hacker." Scraper sneered as he drew Rebell- err, Claymore from hammer space.

The hacker, as expected appeared within seconds on the opposite side of the bridge. Nothing seemed odd so far, she wore tramp warrior gear, had white weeaboo hair and wielded the limited blue murakumo.

Nothing out of the ordinary. Until she waved.

And waved.

And waved in a seemingly endless loop.

Scraper lifted his hand up slightly and gave a small wave, but was clearly suspicious, naturally.

YOUR PET 3 began to _slide _across the ground, feet staying in place...

_And began mercilessly killing all the enemies while waving. _Souls poured like water into Scraper as each enemy was slain by the unfathomable cuteness of a innocent wave. YOUR PET 3 slid across the stone ruins, slaying enemies with the cutest wave ever.

"HUEHUEHUE. Someone's gonna die today!" Boomed the red phantom faggot in front of the fog door. He lifted his shit-tier lance and rushed the hacker, who was still waving.

"Time to die!" The red phantom screeched, and launched himself towards the hacker. The overwhelming hospitality was unbearable, and it slashed at the miserable troglodyte like a hot blade. The phantom's distorted screech filled the air, and persisted even as the last Heide knight fell down, crushed by the weight of the kindness of this strange hacker.

The fog wall held no bounds to the hacker, who phased through it, still waving, which had grown to Majora's Mask creepy of levels.

An ensuing fight took place, though Scraper was too confused to fully comprehend what the hell just happened. The slam of halberd meeting floor rang in his ears, and through the fog the hacker emerged, this time beckoning Scraper.

Cautiously, Scraper followed, hacker well ahead of him. Though the fog door, he saw the life bar of the boss was practically non-existent. The hacker had reduced him to nothing with a simple gesture.

What happened next, was so amazing mere words cannot fully describe the experience. The hacker lifted the horse-chopping sword, and brought it down in divine vengeance.

The sword connected, and a plethora of colours exploded from the sword. Fire, Magic, Lightning and Darkness all rolled into one attack, the effects so profound that Scraper had to shield his eyes, the explosion so bloody huge that the frames dropped to one.

It was divine.

It was beautiful.

The Dragonrider, most likely in awe, bowed as the explosion engulfed him, and disappeared into the nether, forever gone until the next play-through.

With nary a word, the YOUR PET 3 praised the sun, and slid of the edge, gravity claiming his life, as it does to all creatures of this world.

Scraper was dumbfounded. Never before had he seen a hack so generous, so kind, so-

"10 MILLION SOULS!? BUT MY SOUL MEMORY! FUUUUUUUUUUUU-"


End file.
